I’m going there.. hang on.
Faith is a very interesting subject these days.. in fact, it
seems like it’s almost more socially acceptable to post Miley twerking videos,
or “I support Gay Marriage” (which I do!!) on your timeline, than scripture or
any talk of God or Faith whatsoever.
I mean, faith is for the naïvely ignorant and uneducated…
right?
Well, I am a Christian, liberal, educated woman who is
finding my way through this faith game the best way I know how.
Also, can I take a moment to clarify something that is a
personal pet peeve of mine among ‘Christians’.
Catholics are also Christians. So
are Jehovah’s Witnesses. So are Mormons,
Lutherans, Baptists, Pentecostals, Agnostics….
absolutely anyone that believes in CHRIST, hence the origin of the word
Christian. When I tell you I am
Catholic, and you respond, “Oh, I am Christian” you sound kinda.. well,
uneducated. We are all in the same big
ol’ Christian boat, where we perhaps differ is in denomination.
Mine is Catholic.
I am been imbued in faith education my entire life. Not because I grew up in a super devout
family, (we did attend mass.. mostly on holidays and sometimes when my parents
felt the Catholic guilt eating away at them), but because there was such
religious diversification in my life.
During the year I went to Catholic school, where we still
studied for our sacraments during school time,
had a big part in the church, prayed three times a day, sang Christian
songs during school assemblies and had Christmas concerts.
Not Seasonal Celebrations, but Christmas Concerts.
I was raised and educated as Catholic as they come.
However, my auntie and uncle, with whom I spent the entire
summers, were steadfast Jehovah’s Witnesses.
I went with them to meetings, bible studies, and became a part of their
congregational community during those long hot Manitoba summers.
There was never any unwarranted fear by my parents that I
would somehow be swayed to a denomination upon which little is known, and very
much is spoken. Yes you may know of the
JW’s as the people who come to your door with pamphlet, but soul stealing
creatures of the night they are not.
I’m not getting into the finite aspects of their beliefs,
but what I will tell you is that I was free to ask all the questions I wanted
of my Auntie. She knew the bible better
than anyone I knew (except maybe Father Abello), and she was kindly receptive to
my sometimes rude 12 year old ignorant questions.
By high school, I became more and more curious about religion. I became good friends with a girl who was
Jewish. I went to another friend’s house
who was Hindu. Their beliefs were
perhaps the most different than mine, but from what I could see.. if you subbed
in Shabbat dinners for Sunday nights around my table with different prayers,
you wouldn’t see a difference.
I also met devoted
‘Christians’ (the first of whom informed me they were “Christians” when I said
I had been raised Catholic. I should
have known right then) who should have been the most like me. Afterall, we only differed by
denomination. Well, they were some of
the most ignorant, uneducated, hostile people I had ever been around. In striving to be the best Christians they
repeatedly ran down those of other beliefs, or no beliefs, and spoke of
themselves in divine terms. I made the
mistake of going to a Saturday night Youth rally and was confused at what I
heard. In my teenaged world, people who
devoted their lives to God just didn’t talk like that about others. According to them, Jesus loved them the most.
By university my quest for answers intensified, and I had
enrolled in many Religious Study courses and studied all the major
religions.
I loved the Buddhist philosophies and couldn’t believe how
similar Buddha had been to Jesus, I liked the idea that as Hindu, a life lived
well could bring you back into better standing the next time around. I was actually studying Islam during 9/11 and
was horrified at the misinformation that was being reported.
By fourth year I was wandering through a drunken religion
haze, unsure of how I really felt about anything.
I mean, how could we all think we were right? Ganesh, Muhammed, Jesus, Buddha… Surely one of us had to have figured out the
truth by now.
And as much as I loved Religious Studies, History was my
major and I was well versed on evolution, the big bang theory, ancient civilizations,
not to mention the atrocities committed in the name of Christianity. And I also read the news.. churches, especially the Catholic Church was taking a real hit (rightfully so!!).
So how could I possibly synthesize my beliefs
with what I knew to be fact.
Then I ran into three University professors who taught me
more about faith in the modern age than they would have ever realized.
And, all for different reasons.
Enter the first. An
Ancient History professor on his way up.
He believed in nothing other than what science and facts tell us about
our past. He repeatedly referred to the
messed up Museum Of Natural Creation which basically told Science only through
the bible. It actually concurred that
the pyramids must have been dropped by the Angels. So you know, not giving much credence to those
of us who were both religious and educated.
He was a self-described atheist because, after all, there
was no proof upon which to lay claim to the existence of God.
Of anything other than what we can see and what we can
physically study. He was sort of a jerk
on all fronts, but admittedly, a very, very intelligent jerk. And I mean there was no defending this Museum
of Natural Creation. It was really,
really dumb. Just like there was no
defending those who will not accept evolution as the natural progression of
humans. People, come one. The proof is irrefutable. He left me straddling two mountains.. fact
and faith.
Enter professor number two.
A Lutheran pastor who was teaching the Religious Studies course, “The
History of the Bible”. He set out on the
first day to clarify this was an ACADEMIC study. We are not trying to prove or disprove
whether Jesus really did turn water into wine.
Rather, we were going to study the themes, voices, and threads that are
woven throughout the New and Old Testaments.
He was amazing. He taught me so
much about how to really read the bible, how to decipher the different authors
that show up in different books, and one particular discussion left me reeling.
We believe what we know about Alexander the Great to be
fact. He lived before Jesus, and less
was written by his contemporaries. In
fact, most of what we know about him was written 100 years after his exploits. While historians have worked hard to prove
and disprove the story of Alexander the Great, as a society we take what we’ve
heard to be truth. The life and stories
of Jesus.. even if we take out the miraculous ones, and those of his
crucifixion and death, just the everyday ones, about him learning with rabbis
and turning the other cheek, were in part written by those who were there to
witness this man. His buddies, the guys
we know as his disciples.
He stoked a new flame within me. Maybe there wasn’t proof of the miracles, but
there was proof of a man named Jesus who walked the earth.
Finally, the third professor still remains one of the most
engaging, kind, and intelligent people I ever encountered in university. He was a Jesuit priest and he taught, appropriately
enough, “The History of The Jesuits”.
(For those of you who don’t know.. the Jesuits are a pretty amazing institution. While they are priests, their life is
dedicated to education and missionary work. They take different vows than a priest who you would see at Sunday Mass. Both do their own work for God, and good in their own ways, but very different in their day to day life.)
He was both enlightening and questioning, and more importantly
brought in a female professor from Harvard who spoke about the inner struggle I
was dealing with.How do I stay educated and religious?
I sat enthralled with her words, and came out of that lecture inadvertently with answers.
Suddenly it all made
sense. Not because of what she said, I
don’t remember everything she touched on, but for the fact that it was
possible to stand on both mountains.
But, for each and every person the balance will be different.
I believe that the bible serves as a set of stories for us
to live our lives. I believe it is a
book of lessons to be shared and taught as what is right.
I believe we cannot always take the bible literally, that
there has to be room for modern civilization to alter the definition of the
absolutes present therein. Like punishment,
and love. In the same way that society
dictates that my husband can no longer beat me as long as the stick is no wider
than his thumb, maybe, just maybe people who love each other can just go ahead
and marry each other, too.
I believe that there was a guy named Jesus. I believe he was not an ordinary man.
I believe that there is absolutely no proof that God exists.
And I also believe there is absolutely no proof to say he
doesn’t.