I would like to talk about the time I felt what it was like
to be culturally misunderstood.
Wait.. whhaaaaaat.
I know. I’m more
white than white. I have blonde hair
(stop with the side eye. While I am certainly not blonde anymore, my stylist
assures me it’s my true color), blue eyes, freckles, a penchant for horses, synchronized
swimming, ballet and cheerleading. Also
I have a history degree, and drive a minivan.
I may or may not be currently consuming anti-anxiety medication. I also have to watch my use of ‘like’. Even now.
At 30.
So you see, very, very white.
One day, my husband came home full of excitement over a
possible transfer that would take us from rural agri-centric Saskatchewan (my
peeps), north, to a Metis and Status Aboriginal community (whom I would like to
be my peeps, but was afraid I was too white for).
Before long there was a moving truck at my house, packing
away more than just the crap we had accumulated over the years. As we followed that moving truck up the
highway, to a gravel road that should technically be called “A Goat Trail”, I realized I was about to move away from my
comfort zone.
Let’s take a small story break to revisit my.. um,
whiteness. While I won’t attribute all
of my character traits to being white, let me just give you a quick personality
bio.
I think I’m hilarious.
I make ridiculously LAME jokes about weather, or puns or whatever and
laugh and laugh. I generally have a shit
eating grin on my face, and like to talk to anyone within 100 yards of me. Bubbly certainly, I enjoy chit chat more than
most things in life. It doesn’t matter
who I run into, I want to be friends. It
is perhaps a remnant of many years spent under the noxious fumes of hairspray
and aerosol sparkles. (Cheerleading has no mercy. Who needs those extra brain cells when you
can absolutely GLOW under the competition lights??)
Fairly stereotypically, middle class, white.
Now that you have a mental picture (feel free to imagine me
in a fab outfit, fresh blowout and a slight tan. But more glowy than orange. Like J Lo. But Whiter.), transplant that girl to
Northern Saskatchewan surrounded by bush, no mall within 5 hours, power outages
that last days, and where hunting and fishing reign supreme.
I know, right?
Our parents and friends thought we were nuts. We had voluntarily signed up to head
there. We had a 2 year old, and I was
pregnant with our second. We were 12
hours away from my parents, and about 6 from my husband’s family. There was no nearby hospital, and I would
have to get sent out two weeks before my due date to have our baby. It was isolated. There were no coffee shops to meet up at, no restaurants
to go for a nice dinner (Ok CJ’s but I’m not sure that counts…), and only one
fairly limited grocery store within 2.5 hours.
But we went. And
within weeks we loved it. We had our
daughter, and started sending our son to Awasisak Head Start preschool. They learned Cree, had visits from elders and
took part in traditional activities, and where my (natural) white blonde, blue
eyed kid stood out like a sore thumb.
Not that they noticed. Other than
the kids loving his ‘yellow’ hair, kids couldn’t care less. Before long we were hearing him using Cree
words at home, and he had his first playdate with his best little buddy from preschool.
My husband worked.. a lot.
Like many RCMP detachments, especially those in the North, they weren’t
enough staff for the calls, and there was, on occasion, times when we worked 15
days in a row. I got the pleasure of
staying home with our now two children, and while I relished the time spent
taking walks, dodging bugs bigger than smart cars (this is hardly an exaggeration),
quadding and sitting around campfires, I was missing something.
My husband had found his recreational outlet. Not a big hunter or fisher, he had always
played hockey. So he signed up to join
the local rec league.
This might seem pretty.. well, obvious, to most reading this
right now. But, there hadn’t been RCMP
officers who played in the rec league before.
There was a definite divide in the community between those who grew up
and made their lives there, and those who came in to work. Cross over happened little, if at all. But, as sport tends to do, the playing field
was equalled and my husband and another member started playing whenever they
got a chance.
But, because for the vast majority of my life, I have been
who I am wherever I am, I found myself desperate to get out of the house and
meet people on my own.
The extracurricular activities I had partaken in growing up
didn’t seem to jive with where I suddenly found myself living. Synchronized swimming- an automatic NO being
that there was no indoor pool closer than a 5 hour round trip. Horseback riding-Nadda. Ballet- Not gonna happen.
But, there was something I COULD do with only running shoes
and a gym floor. Which, the school
obviously had.
Cheerleading.
Everything thought I was totally off my rocker.
There wasn’t any organized after school activities offered
at that time. And of all things I was
going to try and get a group of girls to buy into cheerleading.
Yes I was, and yes I did. (You’re welcome, Toni Basil. Patron Saint of Cheerleading)
It started with the younger ones, and before long I had
interest from the junior and high school girls.
We started practicing and I would come home and tell my husband that I
didn’t think they liked me. That no one
ever laughed at my HILARIOUS jokes, and despite all my goofing around and
smiling that worked like a charm on my past cheer teams, these girls just seemed
to disagree with how funny I felt I was being.
My husband, always rational, my consummate laid back, tell ‘er
like it is better half, simply looked at me and said “Well. They keep coming back, don’t they?”.
I kept up, and before long I felt like we had figured each
other out. I had learned that maybe
there was a little bit of a cultural divide.
I was in a teaching role, and they were doing their best to respect
me. I kept being me, and slowly they
started opening up to me. They would
stop by and visit me at my house, and loved it when I brought my baby girl to
practice.
We performed at a Christmas concert, and I was so proud of
those girls, who were so shy, who had NEVER seen something like that performed
before, who got up in front of the school and their families and smiled and
danced their best. They had stepped out
of their cultural comfort zone in a BIG way.
Before long, I got asked to choreograph something for junior
high kids, both boys and girls, for the Saskatchewan Northern Games.
Ironically, and ridiculously, the whitest girl within 100
miles got asked to choreograph a hip hop routine.
I laughed and laughed until I realized they were serious.
So I tried, and with collaboration from the kids, a friend
of mine who was born and raised there, and MTV, we came up with a great routine
that won them Silver at the games. (They were ROBBED. Politics.
Not just in Figure Skating anymore.)
It felt liberating to hand them their medals at the school
assembly. I was so proud of those boys
and girls, but I was also proud of myself.
Together we had all stepped outside our cultural comfort zone, and I
secretly hoped I had wiggled my way into the community on my own terms.
I would go to the post office and people would say “Hi
Brittany”. I left my iPod plugged in to
the speaker at the school gym right before community floor hockey, and it got anonymously
returned to me in an envelope. Something
I’m certain would never have happened anywhere else.
My daughter got gifted a beautiful pair of leather wraps beaded
by a sweet little kokum. My friend
introduced me to more women in the community, and I even got invited to a
wedding after helping do the bride’s hair.
It felt so good to feel like I was a part of a place no one
thought I would be accepted. A place I
wondered if I would fit in.
Like it does in the RCMP, the moving truck arrived
again. At our new post, people would ask
me how happy I was to be back somewhere with Walmart, and Starbucks, and other
less important things, like a hospital.
I would smile and say that was nice, but that I missed where
we were. I missed the stupid bugs, and
the terrible drive, and the fact that our power was out for two days and we had
no water, forcing us to fill up 4L milk jugs down at the river.
How I cried like a baby driving down that long road, once
again following that moving truck, worried about how I was going to fit in at
my new home.
Because I felt like a new and improved me, and I wasn’t too
sure how I would bring what I had learned to my new home.
I had learned so much at that post.
I learned that fellow RCMP families become your family. Dysfunction and all.
I learned that no matter where the RCMP sent us, we would
find happiness, friendship, and a real home.
I learned that the Northern lights look absolutely stunning around a campfire, surrounded by dense bush, and the very best friends a girl could ever ask for. And, I learned that no matter where we followed that moving
truck, being ME would always make me happiest, and being authentic made friends
no matter what cultural differences you encountered.
Oh yes. And how to
make a killer latte at home.
WINNERS!!! The girls from the hip hop routine and yours truly. |
Ben and his two best buds at his birthday party. |