Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Horse Show

I’ll admit it.. lately my head hasn't quite been in the game.

It’s horse show season.

My first time leaving my family behind.  2007, Minnesota, Old Horse

A time of year that turns a normally very responsible, very rational person into a lunatic.  Wandering around the house hungry (from whichever quick results diet they happen to be on at that moment.. why do show clothes shrink every winter??), mumbling about farriers, vet wrap, supplements, tack, boots that won’t fit,  Spanx, and should I be setting up a frozen semen shipment for my mare or should I find local fresh cooled semen?

A time of year when a loving wife and mother of three disappears out to ‘the barn’ unable to be reached  (cell coverage is bad at all barns.  No matter if there is a tower in the middle of the arena.  It’s a mystery but you cannot reach anyone by phone) neglecting house work, proper meals, and narrowly getting home in time to pick her eldest up at the bus.  More than once these neglected husbands come home to an empty house, wondering where their family has gone.  Most know to first check where the riding gear is housed.. as its presence will answer all questions.

All before this same loving wife, and mother, abandons her children for a week or MORE at a time, hops on a plane, or in a truck,  in the name of horse show.  She makes the trek to go practice with a new horse, show the new horse, go shopping for another new horse, goes to watch her old horse, or goes to catch ride a totally different horse.  

Down in Walla Walla practicing with new horse...




Showing New Horse in Oregon
Monroe Washington before Grady was born..

Oklahoma (one of the times.....) this time watching Aunt's horse win World Championship








You get the idea......



We, who hate long drives and packing will gladly sit in a truck and trailer for 17 hours packed to the brim, and be happy. Happy to be chasing down a dream that’s been playing in our hearts since we were little girls sitting in the middle of a pasture, letting broodmares and babies sniff us and watching them play.  Hoping that one day we would trot in the arena on the most beautiful of all horses to the call of the trumpet, and the crowd cheering.

Anyways, I won’t say this happens to me, but I also won’t cast any judgment on those it does afflict. 

What I will say is that every time Garth Brooks’ song “Rodeo” comes on the iPod or radio, Mike looks at me and smirks that this song could easily be tweaked to reflect what a horse show husband goes through.




So, here it is.  Garth Brooks next hit, aptly entitled “Horse Show” set to the tune of the already hugely successful “Rodeo”.


Her eyes are cold and restless,
Her wounds are almost healed,
And he’d give half of Texas,
To change the way she feels.
Well he knows her love's in Tulsa
And he knows she's gonna go
Well, it ain't no man, in flesh and blood
It's that damned old horse show.

Well, it's Spanx and wine
It's carts and lines
It's the roar of the trainer’s crowd
It's the gate as it closes
The red in the roses
She'll win the next go 'round
It's boots and chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's tuxs and cutbacks
It's the bits and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing horse show.

He does his best to hold her
When her love comes to call
But her need for it controls a girl
And his back's against the wall
And it's "So long babe, I'll see ya."
When it's time for her to go
You know the husband wants his cowgirl
Like she wants her horseshow

Well, it's Spanx and wine
It's carts and lines
It's the roar of the trainer’s crowd
It's the gate as it closes
The red in the roses
She'll win the next go 'round
It's boots and chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's tuxs and cutbacks
It's the bits and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing horse show.

It'll drive a cowgirl crazy
It'll drive the girl insane
And she'll sell off everything she owns
Just to pay to play the game
And a broken home and some broken bones
Is all she'll have to show
For all the years that she spent chasin'
This dream they call horse show.


Well, it's Spanx and wine
It's carts and lines
It's the roar of the trainer’s crowd
It's the gate as it closes
The red in the roses
She'll win the next go 'round
It's boots and chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's tuxs and cutbacks
It's the bits and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing horse show.

It's the mares and the studs
It's in a girl’s blood

And they call the thing horse show.



Glory


Before I sign off.. here's a link to the video which is far more gritty and, well dirtier than my version.

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