Thursday, October 30, 2014


This morning on the radio I heard a commercial for a seminar on financial freedom.

It sounded kind of enticing.  But, being the incredibly superstitious girl I am, whether it’s from being raised by a mother whose mother was Eastern European, or just my nature, I couldn’t stop wondering what would happen if I suddenly really DID have financial freedom.

Like, I sort of began to panic.

That can’t be normal, I know.  Most people strive their whole lives for this particular moniker.  ‘Financially FREE’!!

But, like I said, my overactive imagination (or superstition) kicked in and I thought, in the rocky seesaw of life, what gives for me to gain something else?

If you are wondering what the hell I am ranting about, let me present:

Brittany’s Seesaw Of Life

It’s very simple.  You cannot have everything.  We all need to sit down and stop pretending like there’s a way to have it all.  I believe, from watching a lot of Oprah and studying people all the time, that the harder you try to have EVERYTHING, the worse you start to feel about yourself. 

Like, did you know that social media like Facebook- a platform created to connect with friends, actually statistically makes you feel worse!  Because people are bitches and liars and don’t realize what or whom they leave out, whether purposely or accidentally, can actually make other people feel like dirt.

But as much as we KNOW that people are their own very best PR firms, and are only highlighting themselves at their best, we keep striving to keep up and find ourselves more and more unhappy.

And, I mean, how many uber rich people are 100% happy?? Well, I don’t actually know this but I’m assuming ‘money can’t buy you happiness” didn’t write itself.

And how many dirt poor people non-Facebookers do you see that are happy?? Well again I don’t actually know but those who travel to Africa (ok fine, Oprah again) and see people with very little speak of their innate happiness and contentment with what little they do have.

So logically (illogically?) I subconsciously took stock of my life.

Happy marriage? Check

Healthy kids, husband and Me? Check (also knock on wood.  Which I knock on both wood and my head because it’s what my Eastern European Grandma did)

Great friends, family, and passion for life? Check

Money? Welll…. Enough to sustain us.  But, as Ecard wisdom would teach, whenever I feel the urge to be sporadic, my bank account reminds me to settle the fuck down.  Can I pay my mortgage, car payments, kid’s activities and the odd vacation? Yes.    Am I brunching with girlfriends while my kids are at home with my nanny on my way to my personal trainer? No.

So in the grand scheme of life I find myself happy, healthy (but not skinny.. that’s another balance of superstition and weirdness I have. ) with family and friends that are like family, the ability to ride out my passion for horses (literally) buuuut not overly free in the financial department.

So within my skewed logic I ask myself, what would I have to give to GET MORE!! In this case, financial freedom. 

The simple answer is nothing.  So, in the carefully balanced seesaw of life I’ve worked hard to procure, I can’t exactly add anything without taking anything away.

Now, if my friends and family suddenly become assholes, I’d be willing to put a little weight back on in the form of cold, hard, cash.  But until now, I’m happy with where things are sitting.

However, should there happen to suddenly be a longer, perhaps more sturdy seesaw worthy of displacing all that money on it without any ramifications, I would happily oblige. 
The following are exhibits illustrating what I am NOT willing to give up. 



Thursday, October 2, 2014

An Honest Girl's Weightloss Journey- Day 4

I'm on day 4 of the 21 day fix.  In case you aren't familiar with this program, it’s basically a portion-controlled clean-eating program, with the option of shakes to replace a meal a day if you want.  There are also different 30 minute workouts on DVDs that you do every day.

But let’s get real.  Starting a program like this isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do.  Which, my friends on Snapchat (yes yes.. I do Snapchat.  You should too it's super fun) know very well.  They have been been getting kept up to date on my current moods and/or challenges since I began.

They began with a photo of the front of the eating plan, titled "What is that bitch smiling about" moving to the ever clever "I hate my diet" with a sad selfie of me sulking under a blanket.   The first morning of shakes, there was a close up view of my shake with the caption "Well.  It's not great."

Well friends, now on day 4 I can tell you the shakes are tasting better (A little bit of banana goes a long way), I have lost 3 lbs since yesterday (I was a little afraid of the scale BEFORE I started so I only had the courage to weight myself yesterday and this morning.  Now if you tell me that's water weight I might just cut you), and I'm starting to embrace the idea of clean eating.  I mean, I wasn't a big one for processed foods before, but it's the little things that make a big difference that I'm doing.  Like making my own dressings, and taking only milk in my coffee. That was tough.  Like telling my parents I was pregnant when I was unmarried in University, tough.  But, like everything, after a few days I started to get used to it. 

Overall, despite the fact that between the dog and my kids I have been up multiple times each night (remember the days when sleeping through the night was the status quo, not the other way around…) and that the lack of sleep is trying to entice my body into a narcoleptic spell , I’m feeling quite energetic. 

Now for the workouts.  The program leader girl, (who's body I think is supposed to be your motivation, but is really just slightly irritating to stare at.) nearly killed me on day 1.  It was cardio, and despite sporadic trips on my treadmill in the past few months, I fear I’m quite out of shape.  Add to that her fondness for surrenders (if you haven’t had the pleasure, it’s basically going down on your knees and back to standing over and over again with weights), and well, I’m walking PRETTY strange these days.  I had to forgo riding my horse yesterday for fear I would either not be able to mount, or worse yet, not be able to dismount. ("Hey Indira, mind if I stay up here until my legs figure out how to bend again??").  However, I had my favorite Burlesque class last night so I suffered through the Lower Fix DVD yesterday (Upper Fix was the day before and it wasn’t too bad even though I couldn’t engage my knees at all) in order to loosen up for class. 

Now, I would like you to picture a Burlesque dance combo, performed by a girl who is having trouble bending her legs without making a constipated-like face.  It certainly wasn’t pretty but about half-way through the class my legs finally loosened up enough for me to at least stop grimacing.  Instead it was replaced with a placid smile, and to be honest I’m not sure which looked worse.

Anyways, stayed tuned for what the rest of the week has in store for me. 
My biggest upcoming challenge?? Trying to get through a weekend with my family visiting without over-indulging.  (Insert my mom commenting somewhere that “Honey, we’ll all try to be good” and my dad groaning and hoping I’m not planning to pull a fast one on him by cooking fish or bison.)

Is anyone else in the body-makeover process?  Lemme know what you’re up too.. I’m a social gal who LOVES commiserating! ;)

This is definitely the face I was making.  And the horse that would prefer I not plan to take up residence on her back until further notice.