Friday, February 8, 2013

Things I Said I Would Never Do....

Ben’s hockey team all got new tracksuits, as did all the coaches. Mike has coached Ben in hockey since he started, and I’m so proud that I have a husband that not only takes time out of his schedule to be with his son, but also helps to coach other kids.  But as I was snapping pictures of Mike and Ben in their matching suits, admittedly even a little misty eyed about it, I suddenly realized that 16 year old me would have rolled her overly mascara-ed eyes and made a remark about how totally dorky that dad was, and how much cooler I was obviously going to be.

Well time make a liar out of all of us, doesn’t it??

The more I thought about it, the more and more I realized I have turned into exactly what my 16 year old self would have snickered at… shall we begin?

1) Matching:

Ok, so we talked about my pride in the matching suits. I also contemplated matching riding outfits for Belle and me. Luckily even my own mother rolled her eyes at that one. I promise to NEVER have matching black-or-white-shirts-with-jeans pictures though. Ok.... I don’t promise that. Because I’ve already reneged on so many promises I made as an idealistic teenager.

2) Minivans.

Like, I freaking LOVE my minivan. SO much so, that I scoff at those mothers shoving their kids into an over-priced, gas guzzling SUV. Oh yes, 16 year old me was certainly NOT driving a minivan, but then again I was also using Sun-In as a primary hair care method, so clearly my then-judgment is not to be valued. The thing that still makes me laugh is that people honestly give me a hard time for driving a minivan. Um, hello people. I have three kids. So you go ahead smooshing your kids into your luxury SUV, rocking your mom hair, and I’ll go ahead and exit my minivan with beach waves.

3) Baby Pictures/Stories

Oh, yes they ARE hilarious. And no, I don’t care what color you are turning, watching your buddies hear about your explosive poop in a Maui restaurant.  It is just too funny not to share. And other kids weren’t as cute as you are, so please, let me show them what perfection looks like.

4) Rocking Out In Said Minivan

Right now, I have the luxury of having my daughter think I am ridiculously cool, while my son is getting too smart for my fail proof “Don’t worry, this is cool” excuse. I swore, after HOURS of torture courtesy of Elton John, Barbra Streisand, and Kenny G, that I would never torment my kids on long road trips.

Me: “Kids say hello to New Kids on the Block, Britney Spears and Spice girls… they are totally hip and happening right now. What, you can’t hear your DVD?? Just enjoy the smooth beats of Backstreet Boys and relax.”

As a result, Belle goes along with me, bobs her head to the music, and can sing “Hanging tough”. Ben, however, sinks down into his chair, and pretends he doesn’t know me.

5) Putting Make-Up On To Go In Public

When I was 16, I would routinely go out with my hair in a wet bun, no make-up on, wearing sweats and looking fantastic. Those days are gone. I now require routine maintenance. I used to get so annoyed when I would have to wait for my mom to get in full hair and make-up before driving me to the mall. Now I get it. I get that as you get a little older, good hair is essential to distract from the ever increasing, and suddenly so obvious frown lines.

6) Becoming Overly Emotional at Childhood Milestones

How dorky did we all think the parents were at Grad, when they wiped tears, snapped pictures, and lamented about how it felt like ‘just yesterday’ that we started kindergarten?

Well, I cried like a baby when Ben turned 3, when I realized that as far as most developmental milestones predicted, his personality was pretty much set at this point. This meant that all the mistakes I had made, everything I wished I had done with him that I hadn’t, had solidified itself in his FOREVER personality. Fast forward to Grade One, which had me in a sniffling puddle as I realized that from here on out, his teachers and friends were spending more time with him than I was.

Now with Grady, every time I put things away he has outgrown, I get teary thinking that the next time I see these items, they won’t be on my own kids. Now that he’s almost all but outgrown snuggling into my neck, I sighed and told Mike, “I guess the next time I feel that joy is when we have grandkids”. Mike looked at me, holding a 3 month old like I was crazy. Apparently ‘living in the moment’ is not my strong suit.

This is an entry that will remain open-ended. They are sure to be many things I think of, that I promised myself, at a younger, far more attractive age, I would never, ever do.

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